Moody Madness

Have you ever reacted to something in the most bizarre way ever? Had a DA FUQ moment? Today, during my class (which was probably horrible, sorry!) I wanted to cry when I heard La Quiero A Morir by DLG. I literally had to contain the tear shed and continue to dance, even though all I wanted to do was run away and bawl. 

What began as an "OMGOSH, this brings back so many childhood memories" ended in "He's gone, he's never coming back and Imma Gonna CRY!". This song is just magical, the musicality of it just makes you want to move and shake what ya mama gave ya. Instead, I pouted and looked at my feet half the time, trying to fake smile and not curl up into a ball. I can't explain why this happened! 

I started to think that though my reaction of wanting to cry doesn't happen often, I have a tendency to get angry really quickly (BEWARE BITCHES, just kidding! I swear I'm a nice person). So naturally, I started to analyze when these "incidents" occur the most and... surprise, surprise it's menstruation time.  Even though, I hate when people say "What is wrong with you? Are you on your period?" which is RUUUDE and just asking to get kicked in the face- it seems that at least for me, my moodiness is related to the changes in hormone. 

This is not an invitation to start saying that women are crazy during their period, which is an over exaggeration but we (or maybe just me) are more sensitive to our surroundings. This does not make me weak or weird- being able to express one's feelings is a sign of true bravery and strength, that vulnerability that you show is not an easy task. It is something that I am afraid of, because you open yourself to being hurt and judged. 

I think that we should embrace our own and other's feelings, we shouldn't think of others as less because they aren't afraid to live to the fullest. We should all try to express those feelings more often, instead of keeping them inside. Talking, writing or even dancing can help- even if you don't share them with someone, they are no longer a burden in your heart. 

Maybe my subconscious was trying to tell me that its ok to fall apart sometimes, that I don't have to be happy all the time but as long as I deal with it and get back up...that's what truly matters and defines me. 

xoxo, 

Natalie