The Power of Labels

Assigning labels and stereotypes is harmful in so many ways; it makes a person loose sight of who they strive to be and in turn, are moulded as others wish to see them. We try so hard to live up to these expectation and fit these labels, forgetting that it doesn't really matter how outsiders see you- people who are truly close to you, will know that you are much more than just intelligent, charming, sarcastic, fit, geeky, beautiful. You are not just ONE thing. 

Labelling starts during our pre-teens; young children don't care about how you look, they play and talk to everyone the same. The exclusion develops as we are exposed to media, the underrepresentation of certain groups and the bullying that arises from it. It's easier to fit a certain mould and stay stuck, than trying to step out of it and suffer alienation.

We tell kids that they should be inclusive, not judge others by how they look, but stereotyping is very much present in adulthood. Most of us don't fully understand what it means to be kind, regardless of there being something in it for us. We forget that we are allowed and can have more than one layer to our being. Those moments of ignorance, that's what the young adolescent mind hears and the cycle begins again. 

To me, it's simple. People are different. I, for example, would be described as a girly girl: likes getting dolled up, cares about their appearance and may not be the brightest or most athletic girl around. WRONG, as I may fit into some of those descriptions- I, like everyone else, am so much more. 

I do not like sports, I hated most of grade nine gym. I do care about my appearance, not because I'll get complimented but because getting dolled up and doing my hair nicely is something I do for myself. I don't need my "other face" to go out, because I feel just as confident without it. I dislike romantic movies, I enjoy a good horror film and anything Tim Burton, Superhero, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars -esque. I watch anime, Doctor Who, Jane the Virgin, Shadowhunters and How to get Away with Murder. I love reading, writing, dancing and learning new things. I am and like many things- some may fit with how I look, others may really surprise you but it doesn't matter. I strive to be a good person, I try to spread kindness and that's all anyone should care about. 

Labels are unnecessary, they have no use in our society. We should care about people's actions toward becoming a good human being. We should look for and encourage random acts of kindness and empathy- how you look, talk or do things don't matter. 

You are an intricate being, don't limit yourself to please others.

xo,

Natalie 

How to Handle Criticism

How something makes you feel is up to you. You have the power to let things go and ignore or listen and open up to all kinds of comments. I've doubted myself many times and needed reassurance every step of the way, but if there are three things I've learned about criticism, it's that: 

1. The comment may sting a little, it may make you feel insecure about yourself and it might piss you off but just cool down and be proactive. Don't react, think!
2. Is it Helpful or Hurtful? Can you use this new information to become a better version of yourself? Should you just ignore it, not take it to heart and smile?
3. You might not like it, it may have been purposely hurtful and your ego is hurt but every comment can only help you become a better person. Criticism, growth requires it. 

Free yourself of the insecurities and know that your heart is in the right place. As you continue to move forward, there will always be people who have something to say, judge and criticize. 

I am a control freak and need to realize that I can't control everything; people aren't always going to like you, things aren't always going to go your way and someone will always be better at something than you. And that's ok.

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Disney Princess: Role Model or Nightmare?

When did liking the Disney Princess movies become detrimental to your feminist status? It's just a movie, at face value it may not have many valid lessons but let's look a little deeper than simple- Princess needs Prince. Here are a few Princesses and the messages that I think they share: 

Belle (Beauty & The Beast) | Selfless, righteous and smart, this Princess is one of my favourites. One of the only characters (in early Disney movies) challenging gender roles, Belle is a bookworm and weirdo who doesn't care for regular norms. This princess selflessly trades her freedom for her fathers, staying in a creepy castle with a Beast (which she doesn't know is actually a Prince) not knowing what fate will bring. She single-handedly saves the Beast and though he has a temper, horrible etiquette and looks like a weird buffalo, wolf- she's able to get through to him with kindness and patience. 

Cinderella (Cinderella) | Kind and forgiving, this Princess is the epitome of the saying " turn the other cheek". Having lost her family, being treated like a slave and only having mice as friends- if that's not a recipe for losing your mind, what is? By being brave, staying hopeful and only seeing the good in those around her- she finds her happy ending, not the Prince but her courage to finally remove herself from an unhealthy situation and forgive those who did her wrong. 

Snow White (Snow White) | As one of the first Disney Princesses, this character does not have much depth but if one thing can be said about this loveable character is that she's trusting. Keeping her innocence alive, she trustingly takes refuge with seven little men and accepts food from a creepy ass lady, like really? Maybe this is not the best message, but if some good could come from this movie is that you cannot focus on the bad in people; you have to have a little faith that people are innately kind and giving. 

Ariel (The Little Mermaid) | Troublesome and curious, this Princess is known for making less than ideal life choices but nonetheless is part of one of my favourite movies. Ariel is a character that's going through growth, she thinks she knows what's best and the only thing on her mind is exploring the world. Yeah, she may have Prince in the brain but don't all teen girls? This princess is a symbol of growing up, making mistakes and figuring it out along the way. 

Thought? Agree or disagree. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Bad Day or Wake Up Call?

Do you ever have a really bad day?  Not only did you get your period, but you feel like you are getting sick. All your plans and everything that you had hoped, just came crumbling down.  Well, that day was today for me and it sucks! 

The perfectly outlined plan that I had made is no more- I'm stranded between a "I told you so" and "you should of known better". The hormones don't help because as someone who hates to cry, I've been feeling like yelling and crying all day. I may feel like giving up and just curling up, I'm probably more in debt now than I started but I will figure it out and I'm not alone. 

I feel like crap and my throat still hurts, but today is just one day of many. It always gets better, even if its just one day of many crappy days- there is always a silver lining. It gets you thinking about how if this is my worst day, than I must of had a lot of good in my life, this isn't a tragedy or a loss but a fallen branch on my path. 

I may be freaking out and it may seem like the end, but it's not. Everything is going to be different, I'm going to have to come up with a new plan and that's ok. I'll have to try new things and blindly enter the unknown, but it was going to happen anyway. I might wake up with no voice tomorrow, but I'll still have a roof over my head and food in my belly. 

I may be having a crappy day, but I am still blessed and have lots of things to be thankful for. I have to step back and put things into perspective, this isn't the worst day ever- this is a wake up call and I better answer it. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Do One Thing That Scares You

Have you ever heard the saying "Do one thing that scares you a day"? I bet you've seen this quote many times and thought "hmm...I like that". Well, I like it too! 

I like the idea of trying new things without fear, embarrassment or judgement. I'm not saying to go skydiving or get a tattoo, which if you want too then by all means go for it- what I'm talking about are those small goals, the things that you never wanted to try because you feared failure or simply got lazy. 

Those things that you kept putting off and never got around to doing because "life got in the way". These are the things that I want to tackle this school year, I want to prove that I can achieve everything I set my mind to, that if I want something all I have to do is try and that hardwork and determination, really do create results. 

I want to "do something that scares me everyday" and that's being completely free of the "what if". I am my own worst enemy and I won't let doubt get in my way any longer. 

What is your school year resolution? 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Retail Body Shaming

Body shaming is something men and women are exposed to on a daily basis- certain body types are underrepresented in the media or presented as undesirable. Clothing Brands are no exception to the rule; they advertise their clothes on models who are tall and slim, some stores do not carry xxs or xxl sizes and people leave feeling shame towards their body from interactions made during their shopping experience. 

Shopping should be like therapy! It should make you feel good and happy, after getting a cute outfit or finally getting that expensive dress on SALE, but that isn't always the case- sometimes the experience is ruined and you leave feeling bad about yourself by a few simple words or phrases. 

"This is final sale, you tried it on right?" Yes, thank you for letting me know for the tenth time. I did try it on, it fits great..thank you for implying I would need to return it. 

"Is this for you?" Uh-huh..this is for me. Is there a reason you would ask that? Like maybe you think this certain item wouldn't look good on me. 

"Do you need a bigger size" Thank you for loudly pointing out that my usual size no longer fits. 

Though these phrases may not seem like a big deal or sound rude in any way, you never know how someone feels about their body. Someone may be super confident and the comments won't mean anything, but if someone is insecure or unhappy with how they look- these simple interactions can seriously affect how someone sees and feels about themselves. If you work in retail, why not trying these phrases out? 

"Just wanted to remind you that these items will be final sale" "Oh this is super cute!" "Did you need a different size" "Can I help you with anything" 

The intention is never to hurt another's feelings but involuntarily certain actions and comments can have an affect. Being conscious and using positive speech can not only save you from sounding bitchy (sorry!) but you can really make a difference in someone's day.  

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Hectic Schedule vs. Healthy Living

You hear it over and over and over (x10) about how people have no time to exercise and live a healthy and balanced lifestyle. I am guilty of having used this excuse for many years, and I am sad that I didn't get on this healthy living bandwagon earlier. 

It took me a while to realize that the only person who was suffering from my "crazy" schedule and "no time" was me, and when you really think about it- you can always make time to do something great for yourself. It's not difficult, it doesn't take a significant amount of time, it just takes a few tweaks to your lifestyle and before you know it, you can't imagine your life any differently. 

Here are some easy ways to start living a healthier and more active lifestyle: 

• Balance | No need for a strict diet and restricting what you eat. Just make sure that you are getting enough of what you need and not going overboard in indulgence. If you want something, get it- one "bad" meal won't ruin good habits. 
• Prepare For Success | If you aren't filling your fridge and pantry with wholesome and nutrient filled food, then you most likely won't eat it. When grocery shopping, stock up on fruit, veggies and other healthy and filling foods that will satisfy your body's needs. 
• Set A Schedule | If you don't have time, make time! Wake up early and workout, not only will you feel fantastic the rest of the day but there are so many benefits to early morning workouts. If you aren't a morning person, try fitting short workouts or walks during and after work and/or classes.  
• Do Something You Love | Find something that you just can't live without - whether it's a fitness class, such as; Zumba, Yoga, Spinning or Barre. Do something that motivates you to do more-  once you start feeling great, you won't want to stop there and you will look for more ways to get moving. 
• Get Started | This is your time to do something great and to inspire those around you. You can be living an endorphin-high life, feeling and looking great and knowing that you were able to tackle your barriers and rise up over all the doubts and insecurities. 

It may not be easy at first, but if you just give it your all and commit to change- you will be on the road to success. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

Open Letter to People Who Have Hurt Me

Dear Unknown,  I forgive you. I do not hold any resentment, anger or ill-will towards you. You took part in shaping the person I am today; you made me laugh, cry and scream out in anger. I thank you, because you were an important lesson I needed to learn. This is goodbye. I wish you all the happiness in the world and that you reach your goals. I am saying farewell, because I need to move on and distance myself from this past. To reach my own goals and to find my own happiness. What you did is forgivable, but I won't forget. I won't forget; how you turned your back on me, said hurtful things and manipulated me. How you talked behind my back and judged me, while you put on a different face in front of me. The way you made me trust you, used my words against me and made me look like a villain. I forgive you for me. I forgive you, because I will no longer live with anger and sadness in my heart. I will continue to walk on my own path, leaving all the negativity behind.

Expressing your feelings and letting them out into the world is healthy. Don't bottle up and hold it all in, at some point, it will catch up with you. Don't sacrifice your happiness for the sake of others- that sadness or anger in your heart will make itself visible. If we can't resolve our problems, then saying goodbye can be the best thing to do.  

xoxo, 

Natalie 

How To Love Yourself

STOP ALL CRITICISM | Accept yourself as you are. Everybody can change so be positive and watch as those changes happen! 

DON'T SCARE YOURSELF | Erase all those negative thoughts in your head and replace them with the limitless happiness in the world.

BE GENTLE, KIND & PATIENT | Be gentle, be kind and be patient with yourself. You deserve all the best in the world so instead of expecting it from others, why not treat yourself how you'd like to be treated? 

PRAISE YOURSELF | Criticism breaks down the inner self. Give yourself credit for how far you've come and all that you have achieved. 

SUPPORT YOURSELF | It shows strength to ask for help. Don't let your ego tell you otherwise, reach out to your friends and loved ones.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY | Cherish and revere the person you are. Nourish and strengthen your body, learn about ways to become a better and healthier you. 

MIRROR WORK | Express this growing sense of love you have for yourself. When looking in the mirror point out things that you like about yourself, was your makeup on point? Is it a good hair day? Say it out loud!

DO IT NOW | Don't wait until you get well, lose the weight, get a new job or a new relationship. Begin NOW and do the best you can. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

"Ideal" Female Body

When you start looking back in time at how much the standards of women's bodies have changed, you see an evolution. Just like fashion and beauty trends, the ideal female body is constantly changing throughout time. What is normal in this era, may not have been desirable in the past or be desirable in the future. 

Personally, I'm not one for trends...I like what I like, I am who I am and you either like it or not (sorry, not sorry!). I was taught to be my own person and I grew up with the drilled idea, that is pretty much summed up by this saying: "if your friends jump off a bridge, doesn't mean you should too". Since then, I have made a point to always stay true to myself because when you look in the mirror, you should like the person looking back at you. 

Thigh gap, large breast, flat stomach or not! Someone is going to love you just the way you are (cue Bruno Mars). So love and be kind to yourself! Don't stress out over what you have or don't have- you are unique, beautiful and have so much to be grateful for. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

3 Things I Miss About Being A Kid

Like any other child, I had this great need to grow up- to finally "experience" life and be able to do things by myself. I thought that being an adult would be so much fun, I would be on track to a great career and I'd have no worries. Little me was WRONG, being a grow-up is not everything we make it to be and these are some things I miss about being a kid: 

1. Responsibility, what is that? Phone bills, work, university that was a distant future at 6 years old. The biggest thing I had to worry about was that my clothes matched, who my weekly crush was and what my mom packed me for lunch. Though I might have stressed about silly little things, nothing compares to the realities adults have to deal with on a daily basis.
2. Body Image! 4 year old me was the most confident, outgoing and loudest little kid around- I was a force to be reckoned with and nothing could deter me from what I wanted to do, say or wear. It's crazy how that quickly changes as you hit puberty and you start to compare yourself to every single person you see, that confident and happy little kid becomes insecure and needs reassurance every step of the way. Luckily, with a little soul searching and a lot of self-love you can be outgoing and confident once again. 
3. Relationships- no thinking, analyzing or complicated. You like me, I like you... BAM! We are now friends or boyfriend/girlfriend (for the week). Making friends and meeting people as a child was super simple, there was never competition, bitchiness, or mixed signals- everything was straight forward and said clear as day. 

Even though, being an adult can be a lot of work- there are many things that are great! Growing up is your journey to yourself, you learn so much about the world and are able to see things so differently. You are able to create, enjoy and do things on your own terms- being able to define who you are and sharing that with the world. That is something that little me couldn't do- I found my voice, my aspirations and I am on my path of choice. 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

The Definition of 'Healthy'

What is healthy? What does it mean to be healthy? In today's society, the idea of healthy living is at an all time high. Whether its going to the gym, running, eating healthy or going vegan; so many people have joined the wellness living tribe and have become conscious of what they put into their body. 

Even though this is a great movement, I think that an important concept has been left out and ignored by so many people- the idea of self-love and acceptance, has been pushed to the side by tone and fit idealism. Being confident and comfortable in your own skin, should be what everyone is talking about. Acceptance and inclusion of all body types, should be included in the media; while support and understanding to those who have chosen to become a better version of themselves, shouldn't be questioned. 

Not only, do you have to worry about being too big- now being too skinny, is something to be concerned about. Whether people make assumptions about you; having an eating disorder or being lazy, you will never win against the impossible idea of the perfect body. Instead of trying to live up to unrealistic expectations and do things for the wrong reasons, why not be thankful for what you have? 

Believe that you are beautiful and that no number on a scale, defines you as a person. 

Once you realize this, you will feel amazing! If you choose to eat healthy and workout, that's fantastic. Make sure that whatever it is that you decided, you are doing it for yourself and not to fit a mold- you will feel at peace and will actually stick & reach your goals quicker. 

beYOUtiful! 

xoxo, 

Natalie 

10 Things Every 20-Something Needs to Realize

I recently read this article about a few realizations and theories about life, that I just had to share. There were a few that I could relate to and completely understand where they were coming from- Here are 10 of my favourite things that every 20-something needs to realize: 

1. You can’t redo the most important moments in life. So do them right the first time around.        
2. The way you see the world is your own personal version of the world — no one else shares the same exact version of reality.
3. It’s impossible to fail if you refuse to give up.
4. Your religion isn’t any better or more righteous than anyone else’s. It’s just a different version of the same theory.
5. Humans aren’t any better than animals. We’re just smarter; there’s a difference.
6. Change is always possible. Even if we can’t rewrite our story thus far, we certainly can change the way our story progresses and ends.
7. Changing the world starts with changing how you see the world.
8. Life should be spent creating and improving.
9. You never want to settle in life — in anything or any form.
10. If everybody loves you, then you’re not doing it right.

Find the full list here: 100 Things 

Happy Friday! 

xoxo, 

Natalie